Some days my hair is mostly dry shampoo and hope

I love social media.  Love, love, love it.  But we often get caught up in capturing the perfect moments perfectly.  You know, taking 47 selfies to post the one where you’re all Hey y’all, look!  no filter! Or amazing photos of the organic, paleo, gluten free, healthy meal expertly plated and enjoyed by the whole family.  The one you destroyed your kitchen and quite possibly marriage to make, but we leave out that detail because judgement.

So I’m here to tell you ladies, because I really believe this is more inherently a woman trait, that it’s OK to be imperfect, sloppy, unkempt and messy.  That I ain’t hatin’ on ya for eating the pre-dinner hamburger you picked up from McDonalds on your way home.  Or the post dinner burger for that matter.  Or the 3 burgers FOR dinner.  Lets be real, there’s not much better than a McDonalds hamburger with their warm ketchup and dehydrated onion flakes.  With a swirl of mustard tinting the ketchup a gorgeous shade of orange.  Extra pickles, extra good.

I’m also here to tell you that I don’t have it all together, not even close.  I have on more than one occasion ran out to Walmart at 10 o’clock on a Tuesday to buy a 3-pack of too large underwear all to avoid doing laundry for 3 more days.  I’ve worn bathing suit bottoms in lieu of underwear, and I’ve also become painfully aware the closer it gets to laundry day, the higher the waist band on the gitch gets.

I’ve let the dishes sit so long, that I had no choice but to use Tupperware and wooden spoons as eating utensils.  I often eat right out of the pot with a ladle so as not to create more dishes.  I left a milk carton to spoil for so long in the fridge, it eventually just took itself to the curb.

I shop with intentions of cooking, and spoil an embarrassing amount of food.  I dust only where you can see, and most likely only if someone is coming by to see.  I have been known to hide the unwashed dishes in the oven, and overflowing laundry in the tub pulling the shower curtain closed in the hopes I can fool company into thinking I’m orderly.

Dry shampoo is the best invention since sliced bread.

I have a queen sized bed, and for 3 weeks, I slept on the couch, and then finally moved the laundry over enough to allow me enough space for a toddler to sleep, rather than put the clothes away.  The rule became I can only wear it if it’s clean on my bed.

This was my dinner the other night, when I literally ran out of shucks to giveFroot loops

Froot Loops.  In bed.  In a pyrex measuring cup, because lets face it.  We can’t all be pinterest worthy all the time, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

 

All or muffin

By now, if you’re on Facebook you’ve seen dozens of 30 second cooking and baking videos popping up in your feed.  Quick recipes and tutorials.

One that kept resurfacing in my timeline was for mini, gluten free muffins.

I had all ingredients on hand last night so I figured id give it a go!

Recipe as posted:

  • 1 banana, cut into chunks
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1 Tbsp vanilla
  • pinch of salt
  • 1 egg
  • 3 Tbsp honey
  • 1/2 c peanut butter (natural if you’ve got)
  • 1/2 c mini chocolate chips (reserve 2 Tbsp for topping)

Preheat oven to 400ºF. Spray a mini muffin pan.  These things are sticky.  Combine all ingredients in blender (I used food processor) except the chocolate chips.  Fold in.  Add to pan and top with reserved chips.  Bake for 7-9 minuts.

 

*I used 4.5 Tbsp of mini chocolate chips with a reserved 1/2 Tbsp for topping.  1/2 c is a LOT of mini chips.  Feel free to go cray cray with it, but for me, the full 1/2 cup looked redonk.  I used a liquid honey, and probably used closer to 2 2/3 Tbsp.  I was lazy, it had crystalized and I was tired of warming it to make it usable.

End result including bake time took about 17 minutes.  Tasty.  The recipe said it makes 12, I got 16.  Made with my alterations, they’re 90 calories a muffin, 5.6 g fat, 2 grams protein, 10 carbs and 6.9 g of sugar each.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, 2 bite brownie.  Mini muffins FTW!

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, 2 bite brownie. Mini muffins FTW!

So these bad boys are about the size of a 2 bite brownie, but way tastier.  Gives you a hit of something sweet, with more natural ingredients.  Fresh outta the oven they are full of gooey greatness, but stand up to be just as mouth watering the following day.  Quick zap in the nuker and you have a melty treat a day later.

Yours in chocolatey goodness,

Moi

Why was the chickpea arrested? It committed hummuside

I posted a picture to instagram yesterday of this amazingly easy, healthy and quite frankly decadent dessert made with items you most likely have on hand.  It’s gluten free, and can be tailored to be dairy free & vegan friendly with a few simple adjustments.

I can’t get enough of it.  Your co-workers who scoff at your healthy recipes will dive in, and kids will think you’ve lost it for letting them eat this. (Parenting win!)

I used natural peanut butter, so it’s more a peanut butter cookie dough taste, but anything you have on hand will work.  Cashew, almond, hell you can use pea butter and make this nut free, too!

Cookie Dip

(How cute is that wallpaper?  Just click and save and boom.  Super adorable recipe.)

 

 

Just dig in. Spoon, apples, crackers, fingers. Judgment free zone here, folks

Just dig in. Spoon, apples, crackers, fingers. Judgment free zone here, folks

If you make it, let me know your additions and adjustments.  Can you fool your friends?  Can you stop at just one bite? Have you licked your screen?

Cheers, and I’m off to stuff my face in a totally kosher way,

Moi

KISS (Keep it simple, sister)

keep it simple

I have things.  All the things.  Too many things.  Knick-knacks, gadgets, dohickeys, thingamabobs, dust collectors, really.  I can’t pass things up.  On the dash of my car is a plastic chicken mcnugget buddy from the 80’s.  It was $0.25.  He’s … Continue reading

Sometimes I’m not on the internet

262788-candy-land

so I like to tell the internet about it. I’m still actively hunting for Duke of Squirrel but have found a suitable companion until such time arises where I can be reacquainted with my rodent kin.  Please meet Hooty, formerly know as … Continue reading

Who’s the master?

One of my favourite ways to spend a Saturday is hunting through local thrift & antique stores, searching for that perfect piece.  I never quite know what the piece is going to be, but they tend to leap off the shelf  at me.

From vintage upright radios and picnic baskets, to bibles printed in the 1800’s, there’s always something intriguing to be found.

The haul from this weekend has me particularly excited, as it’s a throwback to a throwback toy.  This metal view-master made between 1946 & 1955 with custom wooden crate is potentially the greatest thing I’ve seen in a long, long time.  The reels are phenomenal, many from the early 1950’s that have a 3-D Clay animation feel to them.  Spectacular.  The piece is in mint condition, but there are a few pencil marks inside the box itself.

View-master

The second were a steal of a deal, buried in a pile at Junk for Joy.  I love that my breakfast now sasses me.  Vintage 1960’s milk glass egg cups.  Never knew eggs were a dieter thang, though.

Egg Cup

So where are your favourite places to thrift?  Any amazing finds you want to share?  Would love to hear your favourite haunts!